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| ...why there are all these "single mom discovers trick to turn yellow teeth white" ads all over the place.
My teeth are not yellow. I don't get cavities. I don't bleach my teeth. Why am I getting these ads? - Location:At the computer
- Mood:I brush twice a day darn it.
 - Music:Ronald Hanmer - Pageantry Processional
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| At the beginning of the UFL, I was not terribly impressed with either the names for teams or their color schemes. However, I've grown in my appreciation of both.
I like all the team's helmets in spite of myself. I like how instead of a stripe, they have a sorta-logo instead.
Take the Los Vegas Locomotives, for example. I was dismissive of the name early on. However, I appreciate it more. Gamblers is a rather typical name for a Las Vegas based sports-franchise, certainly. Locos is a pretty creative shortening, and the cattle catcher logo is pretty nifty.
For the next season, they should stick with the silver, since Nevada is the Silver State, but they should switch the blue for red. Nevada is also the Battle Born State, and the red would reflect that. But since blue and silver are on the Las Vegas flag, I guess it could go either way.
There is no helping those jerseys though. They are pretty darn ugly. | |
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| - Location:Home sweet home
- Mood:hungry
 - Music:CooRie & Ookubo Kaoru -Fumin Kyousoukyoku
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| Dammit. - Location:at home
- Mood:angry
 - Music:Ray Stevens - The Streak
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| I just had a really nice nap. Though I'm not sure precisely why I need a four-hour nap in the late afternoon/early evening in order to not feel tired before going to bed later. But I guess it'll keep me going to watch out for election results!
It's election day you know. In Virginia, New Jersey, a open-seat Congressional race in New York, the Annapolis mayor's race, the New York City mayor's race, the Chief Justice of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, a open Congressional seat in California...there's alot.
I'm hoping the GOP does well! - Location:My house
- Mood:tired
 - Music:Metric - Satellite Mind
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|  Flush from my earlier successes, I decided to make the full on leap to having my own version. I made this leap slowly, but leap I did. This battle was one of four (and a half, though the half will be explained later) that were on the site when I submitted it. Battle #1: Critical Error - November 24, 2000
This means Chill Version began when I was little over 13 years old, putting me in eighth grade. By the way, the 24th was a Friday.
Location: Shawn's House, Blue Version
Player: Shawn [no record]
SHAWN turned on COMPUTER!
SHAWN WENT to POKéBATTLES.COM!
SHAWN saw BLUE VERSION is CLOSED!
Wait, doesn't that mean I don't exist anymore?
That seriously stinks!
A master of understatement, that's me.
COMPUTER used SHUT DOWN!
COMPUTER SHUT DOWN!
Hey! What the...
No.... It couldn't be.....
Watching me abuse ellipses like that makes me feel kind of foolish, frankly.
COMPUTER BEEPS hapilly!
YOU!
We can't BATTLE. BLUE VERSION is SHUT DOWN.
I think I overused capitalization. You capitalized most nouns in Pokébattles, I capitalized darn near everything. Keep in mind, I didn't even have a Game Boy at this point.
COMPUTER explains that since BLUE VERSION is CLOSED, it can do WHATEVER it WANTS!
COMPUTER wants to FIGHT!
But what if I don't want to FIGHT?
100 angry ELECTRODES are rolling torwards your HOUSE, ready to use EXPLOSION on COMMAND!
In a bit of long term planning, the 100 angry Electrodes were supposed to make more appearances, but they never did.
From who?
As I recall, they were going to be captured by a character that would be named something like Butch Kaloogacoogie, or some such name. The last name, whatever it was, was an actual name belonging to an actual human being.
FROM the NARRATOR!
Eek. Ummm.. Well. Okay... Go SPEAKERS then.
GO! SPEAKERS!
COMPUTER sent out MOUSE!
SPEAKERS use your VOLUME attack!
SPEAKERS used VOLUME!
SPEAKERS VOLUME greatly rose!
If I was more clever, this attack should have made the Speakers larger over time. Still, this is much better than my last one.
MOUSE used DOUBLECLICK!
MOUSE CLICKED AWAY!
Alright. SPEAKERS! Use your PLAY attack!
SPEAKERS used PLAY!
SPEAKERS played a FAMILY GAME with MOUSE!
I think I saw that in LIFE once...
LIFE CEREAL! In STORES right now!
I meant the GAME LIFE!
The LIFE GAME! From MILTON BRADLEY!
You're sick.
This whole section is amateur to the max. But I was only 13.
The ELECTRODE....
AHHHH!!! PLEASE NO!!!!
MOUSE used CORD WHIP!
MOUSE becomes UNPLUGGED!
MOUSE fainted!
Great!
SPEAKERS gained 12 exp. points!
SPEAKERS grew to level 16!
COMPUTER is about to send out PRINTER!
Will SHAWN change POKEMON?
Yeah. I'll send myself out.
Return SPEAKERS!
GO! SHAWN!
COMPUTER sent out PRINTER!
I'll use my ... uh... what attacks do I have?
SHAWN knows SCREECH, PUNT, PUNCH and UNPLUG!
Remembering continuity, I did use all those attacks in the Blue Version battle.
Then I'll use my UNPLUG attack!
SHAWN used UNPLUG!
SHAWN'S attack failed!
PRINTER used LOADS-OF-PRINTER-PAPER-SHOT!
SHAWN got PAPERCUT!
It's SUPER PAINFUL!
OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
Too many w's, too many exclamation points.
SHAWN used SCREECH!
I'm BLEEDING! That PRINTERS gonna PAY!
PRINTER is RELOADING with paper.
Me, UNPLUG!
SHAWN used UNPLUG!
SHAWN UNPLUGGED PRINTER!
PRINTER FAINTED!
Unplug was the Guillotine of the fighting electronics set. Left unexplained is how they could faint from being unplugged yet roam around in the wild.
SHAWN gained 11 exp. points!
COMPUTER is about to use COMPUTER!
Use next POKEMON?
Nope.
COMPUTER sent out COMPUTER!
I'll use my UNPLUG attack!
SHAWN used UNPLUG!
SHAWN couln't find the WIRE to UNPLUG!
SHAWN'S attack failed!
Ah, foiled by the nest of wires! It rings of reality, no?
Dang It!
SHAWN used PUNCH!
SHAWN HURT his HAND!
ARRRGGGG!
SHAWN tries to lift up the COMPUTER to use PUNT!
SHAWN'S attack failed!
Interestingly, both this author avatar, and my later author avatar both had attacks that were utterly ineffectual and led to their defeats. One of the problems I think I had with Chill Version is that winners kept winning and losers kept losing.
NOOOOOO!!!!!!
SHAWN tried to RUN!
Got away safely!
Someday COMPUTER! SOMEDAY!
SHAWN is RUNNING AWAY!
for a semi-contemporary joke, just add in: with the WIND in his FACE! It's like FLYING!
SHAWN flew up high! (or however the phrasing went)
That would probably be the first Polyphonic Spree joke in Pokebattles. And it wouldn't have been the last, the Polyphonic Spree are so weird they'd be great here.
COMPUTER is FOLLOWING SHAWN!
ELECTRODE are following COMPUTER!
COMPUTER WINS! | |
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| Last year I tried to take part in NaBloPoMo, but failed miserably. This year, I'm going to give it a second shot, but this time I'm hoping to guarantee success by reposting junk I've already done before. I'm feeling confident this time around. So here is something I wrote when I was thirteen: my very first pokébattle. In order to make it more interesting, I'm adding in Director's Commentary! The "player," Shawn in this case, will be in this shade of light blue (I like to think of it as "Chill Version blue," as that was the color that Chill was designated), the Narrator will be in red, and my notes will be in whatever default color is set. Since this is from the actual Blue Version archives, I'm going to include Jason Ross' (the guy who runs Pokébattles) comments.
The speakers allowed Shawn to hear the computer's angry voice.
This battle is another take on one of the Blue Version clichés (known as the Blue Cliché Triad: Trees, Star Wars, and Computers - though I should point out that Red Version is guilty of using all three of those as well). This one is based on the computer, and like the other battles before it, a frustrated user (Shawn) battles against the frustrating machine. This time, however, the mouse pad and the printer join the fray.
Battle: 52: Mad Machine January 26, 2000 I remember sitting down and writing this in one single go, and then being incredibly surprised to see it on the site. I was so proud, and so shock. I figured it wouldn't make it past the cut. Though, looking back on it, I guess there was no cut at all. Setting: Game 20% / Reality 80% / Anime 0%
Player: Shawn [No Record]For a beginning writer, they say write what you know. Like an idiot beginning writer, I knew myself the best, so there I sort of am. Written by jester@bwave.com New AuthorHey, it's our first e-mail address! We got two-plus years of internet for free from them, in exchange for services rendered. We gave them some shelves. Not sure how that deal happened, but it was the internet, for free. Ahhh... Here we go. The Computer, Internet. This is the life.
This was probably shortly after we got the internet in the first place.
COMPUTER doesn't want to be used.
WHAT!!!!!!
Abusing exclamation points. In my defense, I was 13.
COMPUTER wants to fight.
This isn't a POKéMON game. Oh ****, now look, It's doing that capital thing!
Ah, the domain of the immature writer, indicating the presense of curses but blanking it out. Also, I was unclear on when I should be capitalizing. I think I wrote it and immediatly sent it in without proofreading. Let that be a lesson, kids!
COMPUTER sent out MOUSE PAD.
Okay, fine. GO! SPEAKERS!
MOUSE PAD used TACKLE!
It has no effect!
Since mouse pads are so floppy and stuff. That was before the advent of the laser mouse, rendering mouse pads useless.
SPEAKERS! Use PLAY!
Speakers PLAYED!
It's Super effective!
MOUSE PAD fainted!
COMPUTER used MOUSE!
Go, FOOTBALL!
MOUSE used CLICK!
FOOTBALL! use THROW!
Attack failed!
WHAT!!!
MOUSE Used WRAP!
Figures, FOOTBALL! Use... THROW again!
There's me being super creative, huh?
FOOTBALL uses THROW!
MOUSE uses CORD WHIP!
MOUSE becomes UNPLUGGED!
MOUSE faints!
That's really stupid.
I'm right. That is really stupid.
SHAWN thinks that MOUSE's fainting is STUPID!
I hate this COMPUTER.
COMPUTER sends out PRINTER!
PRINTER uses LOADS OF PRINTER PAPER SHOT!
SHAWN is now PAPER CUT!
That dumb black and white PRINTER. Owwww!
At the time we had a dot-matrix printer. Seriously old-school stuff there.
It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
On me yeah. Look I'm BLEEDING!
SHAWN CONSIDERS!
Shawn here should have lost a turn, but whatever.
SHAWN goes into KITCHEN! He gets a KNIFE!
That's IT! I'm now really P.O.ed.
SHAWN is P.O.ed!
That is really ANNOYING!
At some level it's funny how the narrator is reiterating my characters stupid lines, but if you don't have the self-awareness to realize when you're doing something creative, is it actually funny?
I'm going to use AIR GUST!
SHAWN stabs FOOTBALL with KNIFE!
FOOTBALL uses AIR GUST!
PRINTER FAINTED!
SHAWN WINS!
YEESSS! Now can I use the COM, ::ahem:: puter. Thank you.
COMPUTER uses ERROR!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ERROR 789: General Default. Buy Jumbohard's DOOR 2000 to fix it.
Instead of Microsoft, it was Jumbohard. Instead of Windows it was Door.
WAIT A MINUTE! You want me to buy a whole new software program costing over 200 POKéDOLLARS!
Pokédollars?
I didn't know what to call the P-yen sign the games used for money, so Pokédollars it was.
SHAWN SCREECHES!
END
Yeah, not sure why END is in there, but there you are. - Location:Blue Version
- Mood:nostalgic
 - Music:Gnarls Barkley - Run
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| This twitter update was the first time I had heard that Geocities was going away. The glorious days of free web space I guess are gone for good. What a darn shame. And what a danger! I still had stuff on Geocities I wanted to keep. Let's set the stage. It's 1999. I'm 11. Long time ago. My biggest interests, in no particular order, are Animorphs, Pokémon, and Digimon. The first two are the real relevant parts here. In a wonderful combination of interests, I discovered "Pokémorphs." This was and is much better than the only "Pokémorphs" you'll see today. Instead of the half-human/half-Pikachu or whatever masturbatory fodder you'll be finding in Google Image Search today, this was a series of stories combining both Pokémon and Animorphs (i.e. teenagers transforming fully in pokemon and then back in two-hours or less). I found all this riveting. Also, the Pokémorphs community had a pretty active message board. This is probably one of the first internet community I was ever part of, and I guess I reached some level of sorta big-name-ness. I certainly wasn't a n00b anymore, I suppose. The other thing I was into at the same time was "Pokébattles." Pokébattles was a comedy site/series thing using that used something like the Pokemon narration system. There was a active community there as well, which took the form of many, many people starting their own fan versions of the original Pokebattles site. (Red Version, in the parlance. Fan battles submitted to the main site went to Blue Version). I had the 70th fan site, which I picked the name Chill Version for, mostly because I was guaranteed a really sweet-looking logo for it. (All the fan versions had different "colors" in their names. Color was a bit of a nebulous concept at some times.) When Chill Version joined the official fan version network, it was called the best of my "class" of new joiners. That was a proud moment for me. Anyways, this explains my dismay over Geocities shutting down. Like any good internet denizen of the time, I had a geocities website. My sister and I both did. We both took a keen interest in embryonic web design, and we devoured HTML guides and put them to fair-to-middling work. I had to use all my HTML skills for the Chill Version site, and it holds up...semi well. Nothing to write home about, but it wasn't half bad for the time. I told you the first story and the story after that to tell you this story. Even though I liked Chill Version, I later came to the conclusion that I would rather have had a different name: Radioactive Version. Yes, my interest in radioactivity motifs came at an early age. So, I had a slight fear that the name I really wished I'd picked would be swiped. (I don't know why I worried any other human being would come up with that. But whatever). Also, the rising trend were co-managed versions, where people with one version would be part of a second version. I decided this was a good idea, even if I couldn't keep a decent update schedule on my first website. So, I went on the Pokémorphs message board and casted about for a co-writer. I think it was "first respondant got it," more or less, and a board regular by the handle Super Hurricane got the nod. Radioactive Version died a pretty quick death. I think five battles were posted, three by me and two by Super Hurricane. I also promptly lost the old battles, they died with one of our family's old computers. Shame that. Pokémorphs went away when the author of the series was, I think, shut down by her parents. The website went away soon after. Pokébattles was updated less and less and I was less and less involved until the whole thing was no more. Bringing all this full circle, I hear today that Geocities is closing down, and I decide to go and gather all the stuff I could recover. Got to save a bit of my past, yeah? I find all my Chill Version stuff pretty easily. But remembering Chill Version makes me remember Radioactive Version. So I go to Google and search for "Radioactive Version" pokebattles. The first link leads me here. Super Hurricane Posted: Aug 14 2007, 09:31 PM
Well...it's definetly better than the one battle that I made in Radioactive Version. Of course, it's dead now, like all the other Pokebattle sites. If only I understood how to make one back then and continue to make them, but I became depressed when my work was mocked by the Pokebattles forum members. Good job, Tiefling.
Tiefy Posted: Aug 14 2007, 10:17 PM
I do these live on MSN with whoever wants to play a character. If you want, I could set you up for an appearance...
YOU ran Radioactive Version!? If only I could recall one of those battles...
Super Hurricane Posted: Aug 15 2007, 09:54 AM
Well, technically I made one as a favor for a friend from my old message board, who owned Radioactive Version. He also took battles from other members as well. I was planning on making more, but the deconstructive criticism upset me...
Megaman Chaos RPG -> POKEBATTLES: Redux Version! This surprised me greatly. For one since he had his history wrong. Second, I hadn't heard any of this at the time. I really must have been mentally checking out of both sites to miss that. As I recall, the battles he'd written were, I dunno, were a bit weird, but it certainly wasn't like I was a better writer. It might have been content based. All this set me off, trying to find Super Hurricane. He was still using the screenname, obviously, There was a person on fanfiction.net with the same name, but heck if I'm registering there. I ended up finding a Super Hurricane on a Anime RP message board that seems inoculous enough that I registered and PMed that Super Hurricane if he's the Super Hurricane I'm thinking of. I guess what I want to do is thank him. It's well late for it, but I'm not sure I ever said "Thanks for the work you put in." It isn't important, but I think he should know he wasn't some guy volunteering, but my partner in the whole half-hearted endevour. Also, I'd like to apologize for the rough treatment. He deserved better than the reaction he got. So, Super Hurricane. This is ArticOne 2k from the Pokémorphs message board back in the day, writer of Chill Version, and your partner in Radioactive Version. Drop me a line. | |
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| I can somewhat understand why Apple can get away with commercials where the sales pitch is "look how cool we are and how lame the others are har har har I'm a dick." What I don't understand is how GMC can get away with it.
And forget Howie Long. - Location:Home
- Mood:confused
- Music:Feeder - Lost And Found
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- Washingtonian Thunder - 1st Pick
Donovan McNabb, Phi QB
Pierre Thomas, NO RB
Marques Colston, NO WR
Roy E. Williams, Dal WR
Chris Cooley, Was TE
- Salisbury Vrikkians - 2nd Pick
Jason Campbell, Was QB
Steven Jackson, StL RB
Clinton Portis, Was RB
Joseph Addai, Ind RB
Reggie Wayne, Ind WR
- Foley Kid Touchers - 3rd Pick
Tony Romo, Dal QB
Matt Schaub, Hou QB
Darren McFadden, Oak RB
Adrian Peterson, Min RB
Jason Witten, Dal TE
- College Park Shurigans - 4th Pick
Jay Cutler, Chi QB
Reggie Bush, NO RB
Ryan Grant, GB RB
Antonio Bryant, TB WR
Terrell Owens, Buf WR
- Mt. Hermon Yellow Jackets - 5th Pick
Tom Brady, NE QB
LaDainian Tomlinson, SD RB
Brian Westbrook, Phi RB
Larry Fitzgerald, Ari WR
Greg Jennings, GB WR
- Norman Lightning Lads - 6th Pick
Matt Cassel, KC QB
Peyton Manning, Ind QB
Marion Barber, Dal RB
DeSean Jackson, Phi WR
Roddy White, Atl WR
- Hospital Cancers - 7th Pick
Joe Flacco, Bal QB
Matt Forte, Chi RB
DeAngelo Williams, Car RB
Hines Ward, Pit WR
Steelers D/ST, Pit D/ST
- Angry Fighting Footballfish - 8th Pick
Philip Rivers, SD QB
Brandon Jacobs, NYG RB
Steve Slaton, Hou RB
Andre Johnson, Hou WR
Calvin Johnson, Det WR
- Da Bury Champs - 9th Pick
Drew Brees, NO QB
Chris Johnson, Ten RB
Thomas Jones, NYJ RB
Maurice Jones-Drew, Jac RB
Anquan Boldin, Ari WR
- Lima Harvesters - 10th Pick
Aaron Rodgers, GB QB
Marshawn Lynch, Buf RB
Kevin Smith, Det RB
Michael Turner, Atl RB
Steve Smith, Car WR
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| Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)". ( Consider yourself tagged, Becky. ) | |
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| And now a bit of information on Maryland's four signers to the declaration of independence: On July 19, Congress resolved to make a parchment copy of the Declaration of Independence. This document was signed on August 2, as an 1826 letter of John Quincy Adams to [Charles Carroll of] Carrollton affirms. Carrol was present, and ready to sign...The members present on August 2, 1776 joked about the potentially fatal consequences of signing. According to Latrobe, John Hancock addressed Carroll, asking him if he would sign.
"Most willingly," Carrollton replied.
"There go a few millions," commented a bystander.
Scott McDermott - Charles Carroll of Carrollton FAST FACT: Charles Carroll of Carrollton was easily the richest signer of the Declaration of Independence. He would also be the longest surviving member. In 1776, [Samuel] Chase, Benjamin Franklin, and Marylander Charles Carroll traveled to Canada on an unsuccessful mission to seek that nation’s military support. When they returned to Philly, Chase was horrified to learn that Maryland’s legislators back home still hadn’t decided how to act on the matter of independence. Chase and Carroll dashed back to Annapolis and drummed up support for the upcoming vote. Thanks in part to Chase’s persuasive tongue, his pivotal colony gave its thumbs-up, and Maryland’s delegates in Philadelphia received instructions to vote in favor of independence.
Denise Kiernan and Joseph D'Agnese - Signing Their Lives Away FAST FACT: Samuel Chase was known as "Old Bacon Face," and would be the only Supreme Court Justice to have a vote of impeachment in the House. He was acquitted. [William] Paca was. during the year 1775, and part of 1776, restrained from openly advocating that national independence to which he was looking forward with such anxious hope, and for the attainment of which he was labouring so zealously in all the aifairs appertaining to a state of actual war, that were agitated in congress.
The people of Maryland were not yet ready for a step so decisive as a total renunciation of the royal authority...This state of affairs, however, could not last long. The exertions of the leading gentlemen on the patriotic side were indefatigable, and the convention were induced, on the twenty-eighth of May, to dispense with prayers for the king and royal family. This first step being taken, the rest became more easy, and finally, on the twenty-eighth of June, the convention recalled their instructions and left the delegates free to vote according to the'r inclinations, upon the question then under discussion before congress, of issuing immediately a declaration of independence. Thus being released from the trammels that had confined him, Mr. Paca u . gave his cordial vote in favour of the proposition, and inscribed his name upon the declaration, which is destined to be read by the remotest posterity.
John Sanderson, Robert Waln, Henry Dilworth Gilpin - Biography of the signers to the Declaration of independence FAST FACT: Among the rich living on the Chesapeake Bay at the time, there was a bit of one-upsmanship over their boats. Who's was biggest and fanciest or whatever. William became the real winner, when he added cannons to his ship. Whenever he came into Annapolis, he liked to fire a cannon volley to announce his presence. On the 8th of December, 1774, [Thomas Stone] was elected a member of the Continental Congress, and took his seat in that body on the 15th of the ensuing May. The meeting of that convention of sages had been deeply solemn and imposing the preceding year, but at that time an increased responsibility rested upon the members. The cry of blood from the heights of Lexington was ringing in their ears; the fury of the revolutionary storm was increasing; the clash of arms and mortal combat had already commenced; the vials of British wrath were unsealed, and the fabric of civil government was falling before a foreign military.force. To meet such a crisis, it required the wisdom of Solomon, the patriotism of Cincinnatus, the acuteness of Locke, the eloquence of Cicero, the caution of Tacitus, the learning of Atticus and the energy of Virginius. All these qualities were combined in the Continental Congress to a degree before unknown. Mr. Stone commenced his duties with vigour and prosecuted them with zeal.
He was at first trammelled by the instructions of the provincial assembly of Maryland, that body being extremely anxious that peace should be restored without recourse to arms. But the increasing oppressions of the crown eventually removed this injunction and enabled him and his colleagues to join cheerfully in all measures calculated to promote the cause of independence.
L. Carroll Judson - A biography of the signers of the Declaration of independence FAST FACT: There is really next to nothing known about Thomas Stone. He has no recorded correspondence, and he didn't say much in Continental Congress. He seems a nice enough guy. BONUS FAST FACT: When L. Carroll Judson wasn't engaging in enough purple prose to make Stephenie Meyer cry for mercy, he wrote about how great the Masons were. Alot. | |
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| Regardless of how you feel about abortions, can't we all agree that's a bit too much? More than 450 teenagers below the age of 14 terminated pregnancies between 2005 and 2008, including 23 girls aged 12, the statistics from the Department of Health disclosed. Over the same period, 52 teenagers terminated four or more pregnancies before they reached their 18th birthday, as the total number of “repeat terminations” hit record levels across England and Wales.
The Telegraph | |
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| Bir Tawil is a pretty desolate place. 2060 kilometers square of mostly desert and mountains in northwestern Africa, the name Bir Tawil comes from the arabic for Water Well. It's so named because there's a water well near the center of the territory. It's the only source of water for miles.
It's completely uninhabited apart from the couple of nomadic shepherds that will venture to the aforementioned water well. There's no buildings, no structures, no fencing.
Also, no central authority, no sovereign government, and no legal authority of any sort at all. No treaties or statues regulate it. Like Antarctica and international waters, it is one of the only places on Earth where you can be in no country or territory. And unlike Antarctica and some international waters, nobody wants it.
Let me explain.
The sad, strange story of Bir Tawil begins, like most cocked-up border issues, with the British. In 1899, the United Kingdom set the border between Egypt and Sudan at the 22nd parallel. At this point, Bir Tawil was Sudanese, as it sits below the 22nd parallel.
But then in 1902, "for its own convenience" as Wikipedia puts it, the United Kingdom traded a piece of Egyptian territory above the 22nd parallel known as the Halayeb Triangle with Sudan for Bir Tawil. The reason for this was that the Halayeb Triangle, and area of land ten times larger than Bir Tawil was closer to Sudan's capital Khartoum than Egypt's capital Cairo, and would be more easily controlled by the British Governor in Khartoum. Bir Tawal went to Egypt because it used as grazing land of the Ababda tribe based near Aswan, Egypt.
As time went on, the Halayeb Triangle became more and more valuable and desired as territory, what with the Red Sea access, petroleum reserves, population, and being more than desert. Both countries laid claim to the land, but in 2000 Sudan withdrew their forces, effectively ceding control to Egypt. In 2004, Sudan renewed claims that they owned the territory, claiming control of the area's major "city" Halayeb.
This puts Bir Tawil in a weird spot. Egypt claims the Halayeb Triangle under the 1899 border, which puts Bir Tawil in Sudan. Sudan claims the Halayeb Triangle under the 1902 border, which puts Bir Tawil in Egypt. Neither country can claim Bir Tawil without vacating their claim of the Halayeb Triangle, and since there is absolutely nothing of value in Bir Tawil, neither will. - Location:Bir Tawel
- Mood:stupid week
 - Music:Robbers on High Street - Love Underground
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| Many people know that four American states are officially known as Commonwealths (Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Kentucky, which is the one I always forget).
But here's something you may not know: only three states have Houses of Delegates. What are they?
The first one should be easy to remember, the other two...not so much. | |
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|  Hat tip to Tim Blair. - Location:Home
- Mood:indifferent
 - Music:White Rabbits - Percussion Gun
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| Meet Tommy Bromwell. At the beginning of our story, Tommy Bromwell is Senator Tommy Bromwell, a Democrat representing Baltimore County. And he's not just a Senator, he's chairman of the powerful Finance Committee.
Life is good for Tommy Bromwell. You're getting some money on the side by helping commercial contactors win government work, but who doesn't in Annapolis? Let's face it, the world is your Chesapeake Bay oyster.
And yet...and yet. You're not happy. You wan't more, don't you Tommy? But what more can you get? What's more powerful than Chairman of the Finance Committee?
Well, how about President of the Maryland State Senate?
Now that's power. Real power. President of the Senate is second in Maryland's order of succession, for starters. And you have, if you choose to use it, the capacity to dominate the Senate, with an iron fist if you so choose. And it's a pretty nifty launching pad if you want to use it. Steny Hoyer's got a Congressional seat, Melvin Steinburg was Lieutenant Governor for two terms, Louis Goldstein is the most popular tax collector in the United States and probably will remain such until he dies.
Yes sir, that's a heck of a job to get. The tiny problem is that Maryland already has a Senate President. A Mr. Thomas V. "Mike" Miller, Jr, from Calvert and Prince George's County. He's been Senate President since 1986, and it's for a good reason. He plays the senate with it's many members, cliques and factions like a violin. He's reined in a absolutely insane Senate, and he doesn't have any plans of slowing down.
For the ambitious senator, like our friend Tommy Bromwell, this presents a problem. But Tommy is not concerned. He's smooth, he's popular, he has connections, and he can take down Mike Miller.
So Tommy Bromwell starts working the backrooms and Harry Browne's. He cuts some deals with several Senators from Baltimore city. The Republicans would be happy to see Mike Miller go. He builds up an organization, an army, and late in the 2000 session, the battle begins. And he falls short. Bromwell's coup attempt, alas, fails.
Now, they say that if you want to kill the king, you had better be sure you get the knife in his back. But Mike Miller is alive and kicking, so one would expect retribution. After all, the Senate President picks Committee chairmanships, committee placement, even what office you get. You'd picture our poor friend Tommy Bromwell with a office in the parking garage, no staff, a rotary pay phone and a seat int he gallery, but strangely he keeps his Chairmanship. No vengeance is paid.
"President Miller took it all very well," people start to say. He's taken a close call of a coup attempt in perfect stride, and seems willing to live and let live. But Thomas V. Mike Miller is not a man to let water fall of his back, or to nurse a grudge. He's just a man who gets even, that's all. Mike Miller had been under investigation by the feds for corruption once, but the investigation was dropped. But some say that Mike became friendly with the good people of the FBI that were giving him the once over. And mayhaps he tipped them off that Senator Tommy Bromwell had been involved in some shady business that actually could be proven.
In 2001, the feds began taping conversations of the good Senator, which led to him bragging on tape about his scams, and also him spouting off a fun collection of racial epithets and calling Lieutenant Governor Kathleen Kennedy Townsend something foul.
And so, in 2005, Thomas L. Bromwell was charged in a United States court of wire fraud, mail fraud, extortion, and violating the RICO statute. And in 2007, not only is Bromwell found guilty and sentenced to seven years in prison, his wife was caught taking money for a no-show job and was sent to jail for a year and a day.
So what's the lesson of this story, children? That's right: you DO NOT screw around with Mike Miller. | |
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| If you're going to decalre a "liberal leave policy" you should probably explain it so a bunch of idiots don't waste my time asking about it.
But "essential personnel" is simple enough: If you are, you know it. If you don't, you aren't. | |
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